Saturday 4 January 2014

Top 10 Films I Like But Everyone Else Hates

10.
The Hangover Part II
It's a rehash of the first film too be sure. But, you know what I still found it pretty damn funny and the monkey is better than the tiger.

9.
The Lone Ranger
Flawed too be sure. But, it's entertaining as hell when it works and I liked that it wasn't over blown with CGI.

8.
A Christmas Carol (2009)
 I liked that it wasn't like every single re-telling of this story. It was darker and for a re-telling of A Christmas Carol quite refreshing.

7.
Transformers (2007)
It's illogical too be sure. But, it's also utterly bad ass awesome fun at the same time.

6.
Anonymous
Give Ronald Emmerich credit he did try something different for him and it works really well. It made me he didn't go back too doing action films like The Day After Tomorrow but he is sadly.

5.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
I loved that this was the Jack Sparrow road show. This was what the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels should have been.

4.
Cars 2
This is nowhere near Pixar's best (I mean have you seen their best). But for what it is I found it entertaining and so much better than the first Cars.

3.
Snow White & the Huntsman
My enjoyment for this mainly comes from the fact of this kind of fantasy is right up my ally. But I also like it when classic stories get a fresh take with it.

2.
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
This is was honestly unlike any "Alice in Wonderland" adaptation I've seen and I thought it was a great idea too make sense of nonsense. Can someone tell Harmony Korine this.

1.
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
The film has a Beauty and the Beast element too it that makes more emotionally invested than other recent movie musicals. Also a great soundtrack and visual style helps as well.

Friday 3 January 2014

Top 10 Films I Dislike But Everyone Else Loves

10. 
Dredd
Not having read the source material. This film never gave me reason why this guy is so god damn special and the insufferable slow-mo action didn't help me wanting to give a damn.

9.
Gravity
When you are making a survival film the main thing you need is a strong emotional connection with the main character and Gravity doesn't have that and all of the CGI in the world couldn't hide that.

8.
Fantastic Mr. Fox 
Wes Anderson can be a tad bit quirky. But this is quirky on fucking cocaine and it gets to the point of being insufferable.

7.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
I can sum up my reasons for not liking this film with 5 words. Kate Capshaw and Short Round.

6.
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
This has too be the most bland, generic, lifeless and unfunny animated film for some reason too get a pass from people. 

5.
Blood Diamond
Somebody wants an Oscar. Blood Diamond just comes off as a 99 cent version of Hotel Rwanda and other films that have political themes and have struggles taking place in Africa.

4.
Footloose (2011)
 It's a soulless remake that offers nothing new what so ever and is no different than other failed remakes that don't get a pass.

3. 
Pitch Perfect
It's more of a over long episode of Glee than an actual film. It's sad that they fuck up a Flo- Rida more than Flo- Rida.

2.
Napoleon Dynamite
I can't stand this film and if I didn't see Movie 43 this would be for me the worst film ever made.

1.
Brokeback Mountain
To me this felt like a Nicholas Sparks rip-off while watching it. I don't care they're gay, if this couple were at least likable I might have gotten into it. But, no this is just a self-important, self-serious bore fest that earns none of it's emotional moments.

Thursday 2 January 2014

Beautiful Creatures (2013)


Teenager Ethan Wate (Alden Ehrenreich) is obsessed with his urge to finish high school and go on to college in order to leave behind the small town of Gatlin, South Carolina behind, until a mysterious girl begins to inhabit his dreams. When he meets Lena Duchannes (Alice Englert), a newcomer who has just enrolled in his school, Ethan knows she is the girl in his dreams. Lena is rejected by the rest of her classmates for being the granddaughter of Macon Ravenwood (Jeremy Irons), whom the town's superstitious residents consider to be a devil-worshiper. But Ethan gives her a ride anyway and they fall in love. Lena reveals to her new boyfriend that she is a witch, and that on her sixteenth birthday she will be claimed by either the forces of light or of darkness. She will remain in the light, but only if she does not remain in love with Ethan. To make matters worse, her evil mother, Sarafine, is casting spells to push Lena to the dark side. Ethan joins her in a search to find a magic spell to save their doomed love. Will the lovers succeed?

Based on the young adult novel of the same name by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl. Beautiful Creatures actually manages to avoid becoming a Twilight rip-off by giving you a romance that the audience can actually believe in. Another thing that helps to the film's favor is the actors are strong and are given material that is presentable something Twilight doesn't have. You better have something presentable when Emma Thompson is in your cast and who does steal the show as Mavis Lincoln a overly religious nut job and the film's main villain (spoiler alert) Sarafine (which would have been a nit twist if it wasn't in the trailer). She can be a wee bit cheesy and over-the-top but that's just apart of the film's charm.

The film doesn't takes it self seriously (for god sake you have Margo Martindale walking around with a live peacock in one scene) and it works really well. Richard LaGravenese (the director and screenwriter) understands that this is premise sounds ridiculous and doesn't give this a sense of self importance that's force upon us with other Y.A. adaptation (Mortal Instruments). Which is quite refreshing in today's Y.A. adaptations and another thing that's also refreshing, "!NO FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLE BULLSHIT!". Instead we get Ethan & Lena a couple that put's Edward & Bella to shame and female heroine that doesn't make you want to rip your own eye balls out.

What makes Lena a strong female heroine is a scene of sacrifice something you never got with Twilight. I'm going to try hard to explain what happens without spoiling the final act of the film. But Lena is in a situation were a love one has to die to lift a curse and Lena finds away to make sure this person doesn't die but that person has no idea who Lena is. And I liked that, and it works because you believe in the relationship and you believe it's coming from an honest place within not just Lena, Ethan as well. I know i'm overly praising this film but my biggest problem with the film is Ridley (Emmy Rossum). Not because the character is bad (she quite interesting actually), she's just given nothing to do which is a real shame because I do like Emmy Rossum and she's trying really hard with what she's given but I wish their was more.

Aside from Rossum and some cheesy effects, Beautiful Creatures is really solid. To some this might come off as a Twilight rip-off (the trailers sells this as such). Which is a real shame because  the film is smart and has enough clever wit too it to make raise above Twilight rip-off status and be eons better than Twilight. Also, "!NO FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLE BULLSHIT!".

 Grade Rating: B+

Sunday 29 December 2013

Top 10 Worst Films of 2013

(I like too note I have not seen everything that came out in 2013. But considering this is the worst of list that's a good thing.)

10.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
How can you fuck up something this crazy. What has the potential too be so bad it's good, it just ends up so bad it's bad.

9.
Dead Man Down
The biggest problem here is that it's so dull, so lazy, so forgettable that it makes you hate more than how bad it actually is and it's pretty bad.

8.
2 Guns
Annoying best describes 2 Guns. While the actors do try they can't help the film's poorly written script.

7.
Identity Thief
This should have been funny, the people involved can be really funny.Why wasn't this funny.

6.
Gangster Squad
Talk about wasted potential. Gangster Squad wastes it's great cast with a horrendous script. Especially Sean Penn who gives one of the years worst performances.

5.
The Hangover Part III
Ripping off the first film seems like a great idea compared too what we got here. If it was funny I can give this a pass but it isn't.

4.
The Host
Stephanie Meyer's needs to be stop at once. If you need your Y.A. novel fix, go watch Beautiful Creatures or Catching Fire.

3.
Spring Breakers
Calling this pretentious is the biggest understatement of the whole year. And I feel sorry for you if you think this is actually saying about youth culture.

2.
Scary Movie V
Spoof movies are dead and this franchise needs too die. Scary Movie V is as bad you expected and sadly this isn't number one.

1.
Movie 43
Fuck this movie, fuck this movie, fuck this god damn shit. Movie 43 is not only the worst of the year, it's the worst film ever made.

Friday 27 December 2013

My Top 10 Best Films of 2013

(I like too note that I haven't seen everything that has come out this year, so that might be why that film isn't on here.)

10.
Pacific Rim
I'll admit that this isn't the most remarkable example of storytelling. But when it comes too a bad ass awesome  time with a film. Guillermo Del Toro has out done himself with this remarkable fest of spectacle that doesn't insult my brain cells.

9.
The Place Beyond the Pines
Highly original and highly inventive. The Place Beyond the Pines captivates the viewer with great storytelling and acting without making the film fell like the two hours and twenty minutes run time.

8.
Lee Daniels' The Butler
Featuring some of the year's best performances. The Butler is a well crafted, well written, well directed, well acted ride of emotions that earn most of it's for your consideration moments.

7.
Frozen
Easily the best animated film of 2013. Frozen provides an excellent mix of old school Disney while throwing in some freshness too have excellent balance of both.

6.
Captain Phillips
It's a crowd pleasing  film done right. Captain Phillips is an example of when everything goes right and everyone is on their "A" game giving us a real treat.

5.
The Great Gatsby
An ambitious, multi colored triumph. Baz Luhrmann gives The Great Gatsby great style to go along with great substance.

4.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Smart, smoothly directed and enriched with a deeper exploration the franchise's thought- provoking themes. Catching Fire elevates The Hunger Games series too something that is toe-to-toe with Harry Potter.

3.
Oz the Great and Powerful
The Wizard of Oz is a tough act to follow. But this Oz packs the perfect amount of visual dazzle and clever wit to be entertaining in it's own right.

2.
 This is the End
Easily the best, funniest and smartest comedy of the year. This is the End is also daring and inspired with the cast they've got and everyone has a brilliant moment.

1.
12 Years a Slave
While a hard film too watch to be sure. 12 Year a Slave has a powerful story, powerful performances and also earned the right to be the important film about slavery.

Monday 23 December 2013

Spring Breakers


Spring Breakers is a film with no middle ground. You are either going love it with ever being of your body or hate it with a burning passion. If anyone reading this is on the love it side of the argument, I clearly don't see what you guys see. I have never seen a film that licks it's own ass as much as Spring Breakers. This is the definition of the emperor has no clothes and a director (Harmony Korine)  basically glorifying his collect of porn and fooling people into believing this has something too say.

For a film that's glorified porn and doesn't realizes it is, what is it about? 4 girls named Brit (Ashley Benson), Cindy (Vanessa Hudgens), Cotty (Rachel Korine) and Faith (Selena Gomez) who have been the best of friends since grade school. Now live together in a dull (too say the least) college dorm and are hungry for adventure. So Brit, Cindy and Cotty rob a store and all 4 girls use the money to go to Miami for the spring break of a lifetime. An encounter with a rapper named "Alien" (James Franco) promises the girls all of the excitement and thrills they hoped for.

I'll give the film credit if it actually made it's point successfully. I don't mind lots of boobs, but you need more than just boobs too keep things interesting. None of the performances elevate the material, all of the cinematography don't elevate the material and all of the repetition of dialogue (spring break, spring break, spring break) get's crazily annoying after the first time it happens let alone most of the second half when the girls meet Alien.

I can get behind a commentary about the youth of today. I should know I'm one of them and I can tell that this so over exaggerated in it's depiction of youth it becomes insulting.  I understand that their are some people like this but, Korine's film generalizes all young as unholy savages. Not every film has too be realistic but seriously this makes Sucker Punch the bench mark of realism. But points for well done cinematography I guess.

Spring Breakers is 100% style and 0% substance. It offers no really insight on youth culture. It's just porn masquerading it's self as high art. Their will be people claiming that I'm full of shit and just a mindless mouth breather. But, seriously if it wasn't for some pretty cinematography this would easily be the worst film of 2013. As is it's just one of the worst.

Grade Rating: D-

Saturday 21 December 2013

Thor: The Dark World


The second film in the high profile Marvel Cinematic Universe phase 2 and second film in the Thor franchise. Thor: The Dark World is while visually stunning and entertaining but unlike the first Thor movie the story or whatever is here  isn't really all that interesting. And my rule is if you're not going too have a strong story just give the film enough panache too make me not care, the "Avatar" effect to put it lightly. But unfortunately they don't do enough too forgive hell even know the flaws. But I'll give the film credit this, it's better than Iron Man 3 and when the film is entertaining it's really entertaining with big thanks too Tom Hiddleston's performance as Loki.

I bitched about the story but what am I bitching about? There are nine realms of Asgard and once every 5,000 years they align. Earth happens to be one of these realms. These realms create portals between the worlds during the alignment which is called "Convergence". On Earth, in London, Jane Foster (played by Natalie Portman) believes she and her crew have discovered one such portal. Foster, while investigating the phenomenon, is transported to another realm and comes in contact with a substance called Aether. Upon coming into contact with the substance, it draws Thor (played by Chris Hemsworth) from Asgard back to Earth. Thor takes Jane to Asgard to be cured from the Aether. Unfortunately in doing so it draws more than just Jane to that world. Another being called Malekith (played by Christopher Eccleston)  wants to use the Aether to destroy Asgard. Devising a plan with his brother the war criminal Loki, Thor heads to The Dark World to destroy the Aether and save Asgard. 


Like I said in the first paragraph, Loki makes this film and all of that goes to Tom Hiddleston you can he loves playing this role which becomes apparent in this mainly because he's really the only one who gets something to do. Every one else are either under used like Malekith who is literally given almost nothing to do, or either have no reason to be in this film like Darcy (played by Kat Dennings)  or Erik Selveg (played by Stellan Skaregard) who are just comedy relief you'll find in an Adam Sandler film more than a Marvel film. Which is sad because the banter between Loki & Thor works beautifully and is more than enough.


Even with me complaining through most of this review their were elements too this I did find highly enjoyable and with one scene which is a spoiler I can describe as inspired. I'm not giving every detail but it's the funeral scene. Moments like these help you get through the film alot and make you have more a positive feeling about the film and with some people I've read is enough to forgive all the flaws. But not me. 


Like I said in the beginning, the film is visually stunning and I understand why it's on the Oscar shortlist for best Visual Effects. And while I did have fun with Thor: The Dark World. I left the theater with a unsatisfied feeling which is disappointing considering that their are really good things about. But, in all honesty I have zero desire too watch this again. 


Grade Rating: B-


(all photos used belong to Walt Disney Motion Picture Studio's & Marvel Studio's.)